The break down to the family unit is a disruption of that bonding invoked by so many negative elements thought to be discipline. The dysfunction grows slowly as it is fed by dangerous words of belittlement and no words that compliments. That real bond we have with our parents, our siblings could be broken under tremendous stresses of negativity. When this bond is severed it creates a huge schism in our minds. I can remember so much about my childhood, I remember things from being very very young, some good and some bad; things said, some good some bad. These were the things that shaped my personality throughout life yet I am not ignorant to the fact that there are many people grown up under harsh hurtful criticism, totally demoralized and still broken.

 {Ephesians Chapter 4:29}  (29) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Verbal abuse can be a form of very suttle continual negative criticisms and dark sarcasms where it slowly erodes ones self confidence as the individual develops insecurity issues. Verbal abuse can also be very direct, aggressive, hateful and angry statements that demoralizes and wounds the spirit within. Its like being in a virtual fist fight but its the words of the tongue that smites you where it hurts most. Neither one is healthy to any individual especially if correction in critique is deliberately communicated not to elevate a person but done to cause  hurt. These are what the holy scrolls refer to as pronouncing curses, and this can really wound a child.

 {The Book Of The Psalms Chapter x}  (4) The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Reality beckoned that the world wasn’t this innocent wonderful place and that all of mankind could not be trusted. This was like a shock to my soul and I remember that first time I experienced such internal pain. I was different and not an academic therefore this was not understood by educators as they favored the ones who showed promise. The comments made quite often becomes a truth in the mind of a child and he or she believes it about themselves whether good or bad. The favoritism shown and acceptance of the brilliant kids takes toll but so young to express the feeling of alienation. 

The missed opportunities of not being able express ones feelings as a child will never be regained. The fact that no adult really took time to listen to your deepest thoughts, desires and fears. This completely shattered my entire perspective of reality, I though that I was probably born into the wrong world. The negative chatter traversing the the airwaves because you were not like the other kids is a silent killer. As adults, parents, teachers, neighbors, friends we need to be careful what is spoken in the wind about a child. We need to study the strengths and weaknesses in every child and teach them to master those gifts and strengthen their weaknesses.

 {The Book Of The Proverbs}{20} From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. {21} The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. 

As I got older I then saw how the power of a spoken word through repetitive instances can shape ones state of mind, be it in a positive way or negative. The coaches, teachers, parents, television, education, modernization, and new innovations has such an influence as they molded the young into what they wanted them to be or not. These created such a big disconnect in society as our innocent minds started to weigh each other by skin color, class, intelligence and financial status. I remember the students who were labelled by teachers as dunce or stupid or called out to be a nuisance. When a parent or teacher buffets a child repeatedly telling him or her they are worthless and will turn out to be nothing; These are the curses that will manifest itself later in their life. Stop it now!

I remember how the majority of us formed that image of that person and looked upon him or her as being what was frequently spoken of them by teachers. We were Innocent just feeding of what we constantly heard and treated our fellow students in a condescending way. Many of them grew up with that negative view of themselves and never flourished into what they were meant to be, never exploring their gifts and true talents. If I had the privilege to go back in time that’s the one thing I will correct. Just to go back and be a brother to them and reassure them that they are special and loved by a great almighty God.

 The Book Of Romans Chapter 12:16 

Be of the same mind one toward another. Don’t set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Don’t be wise in your own conceits. It took me some time to figure out how much we really do need this bonding in each other to get good energy and encouragement to stay grounded and connected. As life unfolded I saw how humans found it far easier to induce pain and suffering in someone that it is to induce happiness in someone which takes far less energy to do. Sadly many people chose the former way and I saw these flaws in humanity very very young. I remember how much it shattered me when I saw injustice, but I was to small to have a voice to rebuke the demonic evil of our primary school principal who brutally whipped and demoralized innocent students and warped tender minds.

I remember how much it fractured my awareness, how much it made me withdraw to myself and how long it took me to actually even want to participate in academics. I was a small child and it really affected me folks. I am sharing with you friends and family that you be careful in saying the wrong things to a child, having adult conversations in the presence of a child, saying really hurtful things to a child or verbally and physically abusing your child, these will have long term effects on that child which will last a lifetime.

Do not ever favor one child over the other even if you have a soft spot for one, this is natural. Children are a wonderful gift and if we all be patient in nurturing them, they will bring forth good fruits. There is no dumb child! some are just not ready to accept academics and these are the geniuses we often over look and label as dumb! Totally misunderstood! Parents learn to compliment your child when they do good, give them a hug not only on occasions, this reminds them and ensures their confidence and trust in you. When you discipline them do not do it in your anger and rage but wait till it subsides and then take action.

 On this note may I remind you who are somebody’s child whether you are 5 years old or 70 . You are to honor your parents no matter what the false interpretations of scripture you may use as a tool to justify your callous vengeance towards mother or father. The apostle Shaul in the letter to the Ephesians and people of Colosse was not condoning wrath against parents.

He was warning the FATHERS of those times to not provoke their children to anger by being  overly strict controllers. But rather he urged them that they teach and raise them in the ways of the most high God.This teaching was all about children reverencing their parents and that the fathers not discourage them from  THE PATH  to understanding God.  As the man being the head of the house is supposed to be an example  and model of the heavenly father in the eyes of his children  

 Colossians 3:21 & Ephesians Chapter 6:3 
 {2}Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), {3}“that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.” {4}Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The child grows up and realize he or she has just been carrying around this weight that they didn’t need to bear, they may carry it around for their entire life and never realize where it even came from. Children become men and women and their character and mannerism is a product of the influences of their environment. Many people we are often quick to judge without ever understanding what really transpired in their childhood, and this is where from the Latin the word respect comes in; Re meaning again and specto meaning to look. We do injustice to a person when we do not take time to look again at the person, as they have moved on from yesterday into a new day. We are not now who we were yesterday and we are not now who we will be tomorrow.

I have been humbled and have learned to look again at others and instead of illuminating his or her short comings I focus on the great attributes of that person. Please I beg, do not pronounce curses on your child, or anyone by demoralizing them and chastising their individualism through harsh words. It’s important to know that we can all affect people by the power of words and we can affect ourselves in this way. WORDS can be dangerous things and they can be damaging things so can actions but can also have the opposite effect as well.

Vicious stinging words deliberately said in your anger or your disappointment to your child or family member can do serious damage. You are hurt so you try to hurt them even more than you feel, but that’s not your job to hurt them. Think about that when you’re interacting with them or other people. Think about how one will feel when he or she is not recognized or acknowledged while the other is known amongst your peers. Lets make sure that our words and our actions are always positive and uplifting and doing something positive and uplifting in each other’s lives.

We as adults and parents are to lead in this world by example in what we do and say, I know it can be difficult at times, I know we just want to lash out sometimes. I respond when people attack me sometimes I just can’t help myself but I try not to do that folks. Try not to do it yourself and even if you have to respond don’t be the aggressor, don’t be the one who trolls others, don’t be the one who instigates these problems. Treat your child, family member, friends or the stranger with the respect they deserve, the way you would like to be treated because everybody do deserve to be treated with respect.

We all deserve to have the freedom to be heard, and the freedom to be able to voice our opinion whatever it might be. If we cannot respect people enough to at least allow them to voice their opinion then how can we ever expect our opinion to be heard by them? Seriously my brothers and sisters friends and strangers allow your children to speak that they bond with you, and you learn to listen as you bond with them. We grow older everyday and our lives are slowly being measured down by days, do the math! The things you can do now, do it while we have the power in our hands to do it, don’t put it off for tomorrow.

I am the watchman on the wall sounding the trumpet

kaleb Yahdiel